Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Everyone's a little cranky

Yesterday was a long day with no naps, the crankiness carried into today. I'm not sure there's been more than 10 minutes go by without someone crying.  I took my turn this morning. Malakai is a precious and joyful child. He bounces when I try to dress him (leads to lots of bruises!) in the morning and he punched me in the left eye by accident today. He got my right eye the other day and I'm still a little fuzzy eyed from it. I know he didn't mean to and he's so precious when he realizes he hurt mommy. He caresses my face and gives me a little kiss where he hurt me.

We're all tired. Amiya has started biting and hitting a lot more today, I can only assume it's because she's tired and worn out. She'll touch something the wrong way (it can't possibly hurt) and just start wailing. We can easily tell her fake-I'm trying to get what I want cry from a genuine hurting cry. Regardless, a wailing 3 year old throwing a tantrum is no fun to deal with and feel like everyone thinks you're beating the child! We're trying to figure out how to discipline this child. We've been popping her hand when she hits or thumping her cheek when she bites but her revenge is to continue hitting, how many times do you go back and forth before enough is enough! Sometimes I will ignore her last attempt at a hit and move away from her, let her scream and eventually she comes back and wants to be a part of what we're doing.

Today I am overwhelmed & want to give up. I wonder if these children will every behave properly in public. Will they always run in 2 different directions. Will Amiya always act like she hates me, will she mind me. Will we be able to train up these children to be followers of Christ. I am just done with today, I don't feel sufficient, I don't feel prepared. I know only God can give me the strength. I'm confident These children are still alive today for a greater purpose than I can ever imagine I just pray that we will not give up, for wisdom, guidance, patience, understanding, a little chocolate would be nice right now and a most of all for strength.  How on earth are we going to get these kids through 30 hours in the airport and air plane!? Ambien in the sippy cup is sounding really good right now...I'm totally kidding!


  1. His grace is sufficient for you; His power made perfect in your weakness. None of us are "enough" for our children. God calls you to be faithful to do your best. He is enough! Hang in there. His mercies are new every morning.

  2. You know that I don't know this from experience, but I'm pretty sure that all new (and experienced) parents have these same feelings, so you're not alone! Parenting is hard! Why do you think I've been so scared of it :) Remember all of those conversations I had with new parents at SL? "Is it worth it?" They all either lied with a "yes" or it really is worth it b/c I never got a "no." I won't try to give you parenting advice, b/c I surely have none. But I will tell you that you are a very strong and wonderful woman who knows Who gives her strength and wisdom. God's grace is sufficient for you and made perfect in your weakness. You can do this! And remember, you're not doing it alone. On a different note, I've totally heard of people giving their kids Benadryl for long trips, and I don't think it's a sin :)

  3. You are right that you cannot do this alone or in your own strength. Parenthood is a reflection of ourselves and God....not always pretty. It is HARD...VERY HARD! You will want to give up. But, this is a spiritual battle, and we are all fighting with you for the souls of these children.

    We love you and can't wait to see you all soon.

  4. So sorry for your rough days I am praying for your family!!!

  5. I get it. I understand! Of many people who say they can't completely understand, we do!! It's really hard. Draining. The biggest test of endurance of your life. A piece of advice: We are going through counseling for attachment right now. It's called Theraplay, and is VERY helpful. They say that all behavior is based on relationship. If they don't care about you, they don't care about your rules. No point in treating behavior (somewhat) until they are attached to you. I would RUN to Pathways couseling, at the Alabama Baptist Children's Home. I will shout about them from the rooftops. I wish we had started this on day one with our girl. We started a year in, but it gives me hope in our situation. I don't know if yours will be as severe as ours in the long run, I hope not. But even with normal attaching situations, I think it's the way to go!